Monday, August 22, 2016

We Never Know Allah's Plan

Just now, I read a FB post by Nur Farah Ahmadi about story between her friend and exam result. Her friend was totally confident that she will repeat paper for that exam. But what happen was the opposite. She did passed! Even she can't answer well she still passed.
 
Actually, this sort of thing happen quite often among us and even I had experienced the same thing.
 
This situation happen to me more than once. But, the latest one was during this year mid year examination. I'm just about to adapt with the new subjects that is totally different from before so having to sit for examination really make my brain burst. Studying two subjects a day that need me to memorize everything in one night is almost impossible. Seriously. It's obvious that I won't get enough time to study everything. If I'm lucky, I get to finish everything. If not, get ready to create the answer.
 
Let me tell first what happen. A day before my Adab Nusus and Mutolaah paper, I read Adab Nusus first that evening because I plan to study Mutolaah with my mom during night. But, because of my lacking vocabulary of Arabic, I took almost an hour to study for a page. Oh my, there's still a lot to study. I'm still in a process to understand and of course I'm not memorized anything yet. It's almost night but I didn't make much progress. So, what I did was, close the dictionary and go borrowing my friend's book. Her book has more word meaning than mine. Even it's not  everything, it's still much better.
 
Night finally come and I got to study Mutolaah just like I planned. But, it's already late when I finished. That night I got sleepy pretty early ( I'm already lack of sleep for many days). I can't study anymore so I decide to go straight to bed in state I memorize nothing for tomorrow.
 
That morning, I don't remember at what hour I got up but I think it's pretty late. I'm completely rushing, trying to memorize as much as I can.
 
At the moment I get the paper on my hand, I opened the first page, looked at first question and I said to myself  "I'm dead. I remember nothing." I tried to look at other questions, hoping that there's something that I can write down. It's absolutely nothing! Even there's something that I remembered, I forget how to write it in Arabic.
 
I had no choice. I need to write something. Handing a blank answer sheet is never an option. So, I gathered everything left and start writing. But somehow, I only got to write less than half. I really don't know what I should write anymore. Question that need six answers, I only know one. Even I did get to write something, everything that I write is out of scheme. In the end, I just handed my incomplete sheet and step out from the exam room.
 
I totally confident that I won't passed that paper. I even prepared myself to face my first fail paper. I called my mom and said sorry that I can't answer well and I told her the fact that I may even fail. Thanks to my mom's previous experiences, my mom can understand my situation. But, of course my mom won't let this matter away just like that. She warned me so in future this won't happen again. I'm finished if it do.
 
Day by day, I just prayed that whatever happen  I can accept it with open heart, without blaming my own fate. I told myself it's fine to fail. Fail is not a crime either. It's only going to be a waste if  I don't learn anything. So, as long I get to learn something, it's fine right?
 
One day, I saw my friend handing answer sheet of our previous exam. At first I don't know what subject is that but at the moment see it and also the mark, what I can say is "Alhamdulillah, I passed!". I really not expect that I would passed. Yeah, it's not really a pleasant mark but who care, I'm passed anyway. 
 
What I can tell is, we can't expect what Allah plans for us. Sometime it seem impossible, but truth to say, nothing impossible for Allah. Our life is planned with a lot of unexpected event to see how much we have faith in fate. Sometime, Allah will put us in desperate situation that we don't know what we should do anymore. The state that all that we can do is hoping for miracle to happen and believe in His power. Kun fayakun. Sometime, Allah put us in this kind of situation because He want us to depend only on Him. He wants us to remember that He is the only one that has the power to make something impossible into possible. 
 
In the end, even we already depend on Him completely and yet good thing is still not on our side, please have faith in fate. I repeat, HAVE FAITH IN FATE. Believe me, if you do, you won't blame Allah with everything that happen in your life because you know nothing happen in this world without a reason. Even you don't find the reason, just keep believe. 
 

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