Sunday, August 28, 2016

My Number One

Everyone has their own number one and my number one is my mom. My mom. She was diagnosed with SLE on August 2001. I'm still little back then, too young even to understand about life. Of course I don't even know what happen that time,how it started.

At the age that I started to have memory, I'm already used to that hospital routine. I remember until now, playing at the hospital playground, eating at the café and buying steamed bun everytime I went there. Those routine become my favourite. Food at the cafeteria is like a buffet to me. I like to eat there even now.

Too used to that routine make me almost forget about something. Yeah, it's because I'm too used to it, I forget to be grateful for many things. Grateful for my mom that still breath today and able to move freely. For healthy person, it may be nothing but for someone with SLE, it's blessing. Most of people with SLE can't even get up from their bed and they usually survive for few years. And yet, my mom already survived for fifteen years and she can still get up from bed everyday. Although it's because she takes her pills, it's okay, it still much better that way.

As we all know, hospital prescription don't really cure disease. As for my mom, it only slow down and deactivate the disease. The effect is still there but it come little by little. And, there is also effect of taking the pills. Like we used to hear, drug in pills can damage the kidney. For now, my mom's is still in good condition. I can't imagine what if it happen. She had a lot already.

Dear people outside there, if you still have a mother, appreciate it. If your mother is still healthy, appreciate it. It really break your heart if your mother is sick. Believe me. In future, your mother is getting old and she may not be healthy as before. Treat your mother more properly that time. Sick people has a lot to struggle so please support them physically and emotionally. Study about their disease if you can so you can understand better what they are going through. I say this as I'm not a good daughter and I know how bad I am.

Even in that condition, my mom did raise my sis and I well. We still get a proper education. We learnt reading and other basics from our parents. We did get a lot of education at home. This show how much a mother plays a role in the children life especially towards their upbringing. To be honest, I'm glad that my mom is always at home as she has time to spend with me.

From my mom,i learn a lot. Learn how to be a good mother and daughter. Being a mother is definitely not easy. Even when the children all grown up. Based on Tales of Mothers: The Greatest Love, mother is someone who will love you unconditionally, till her last breath. A mother, someone who willing to sacrifice everything for her children. As my mom, she sacrifice her own importance as she send her far away from home even she really need her children beside her. If that family has a lot of children, it may not matters but for small family like mine, it does matter. That's why we must not forget, behind our success, there is others' sacrifice.

As daughter, even in hard situation, mother is still come first. I can see how my mom put my grandma first even she's not well. It is a shame that I don't do the same.

Everything that I write isn't just to tell a tale about my mom. The main purpose is I want to share the lesson that I get from my surrounding as each person experience differently to each other.

Last thing, if we truly love our mother, tell them so they know it. We don't know when the last moment will come so don't be late or we will regret it soon.

Monday, August 22, 2016

We Never Know Allah's Plan

Just now, I read a FB post by Nur Farah Ahmadi about story between her friend and exam result. Her friend was totally confident that she will repeat paper for that exam. But what happen was the opposite. She did passed! Even she can't answer well she still passed.
Actually, this sort of thing happen quite often among us and even I had experienced the same thing.
This situation happen to me more than once. But, the latest one was during this year mid year examination. I'm just about to adapt with the new subjects that is totally different from before so having to sit for examination really make my brain burst. Studying two subjects a day that need me to memorize everything in one night is almost impossible. Seriously. It's obvious that I won't get enough time to study everything. If I'm lucky, I get to finish everything. If not, get ready to create the answer.
Let me tell first what happen. A day before my Adab Nusus and Mutolaah paper, I read Adab Nusus first that evening because I plan to study Mutolaah with my mom during night. But, because of my lacking vocabulary of Arabic, I took almost an hour to study for a page. Oh my, there's still a lot to study. I'm still in a process to understand and of course I'm not memorized anything yet. It's almost night but I didn't make much progress. So, what I did was, close the dictionary and go borrowing my friend's book. Her book has more word meaning than mine. Even it's not  everything, it's still much better.
Night finally come and I got to study Mutolaah just like I planned. But, it's already late when I finished. That night I got sleepy pretty early ( I'm already lack of sleep for many days). I can't study anymore so I decide to go straight to bed in state I memorize nothing for tomorrow.
That morning, I don't remember at what hour I got up but I think it's pretty late. I'm completely rushing, trying to memorize as much as I can.
At the moment I get the paper on my hand, I opened the first page, looked at first question and I said to myself  "I'm dead. I remember nothing." I tried to look at other questions, hoping that there's something that I can write down. It's absolutely nothing! Even there's something that I remembered, I forget how to write it in Arabic.
I had no choice. I need to write something. Handing a blank answer sheet is never an option. So, I gathered everything left and start writing. But somehow, I only got to write less than half. I really don't know what I should write anymore. Question that need six answers, I only know one. Even I did get to write something, everything that I write is out of scheme. In the end, I just handed my incomplete sheet and step out from the exam room.
I totally confident that I won't passed that paper. I even prepared myself to face my first fail paper. I called my mom and said sorry that I can't answer well and I told her the fact that I may even fail. Thanks to my mom's previous experiences, my mom can understand my situation. But, of course my mom won't let this matter away just like that. She warned me so in future this won't happen again. I'm finished if it do.
Day by day, I just prayed that whatever happen  I can accept it with open heart, without blaming my own fate. I told myself it's fine to fail. Fail is not a crime either. It's only going to be a waste if  I don't learn anything. So, as long I get to learn something, it's fine right?
One day, I saw my friend handing answer sheet of our previous exam. At first I don't know what subject is that but at the moment see it and also the mark, what I can say is "Alhamdulillah, I passed!". I really not expect that I would passed. Yeah, it's not really a pleasant mark but who care, I'm passed anyway. 
What I can tell is, we can't expect what Allah plans for us. Sometime it seem impossible, but truth to say, nothing impossible for Allah. Our life is planned with a lot of unexpected event to see how much we have faith in fate. Sometime, Allah will put us in desperate situation that we don't know what we should do anymore. The state that all that we can do is hoping for miracle to happen and believe in His power. Kun fayakun. Sometime, Allah put us in this kind of situation because He want us to depend only on Him. He wants us to remember that He is the only one that has the power to make something impossible into possible. 
In the end, even we already depend on Him completely and yet good thing is still not on our side, please have faith in fate. I repeat, HAVE FAITH IN FATE. Believe me, if you do, you won't blame Allah with everything that happen in your life because you know nothing happen in this world without a reason. Even you don't find the reason, just keep believe. 

Sunday, August 21, 2016

How To Read Better?

1. When you find a new word
  • Guess the meaning of new words from the context without using a dictionary whenever possible. You can guess intelligently the meaning of the word or phrase by referring to the context from which the word or phrase is formed.
  • If the word is essential and you can't understand a paragraph without it, use a monolingual dictionary.
2. Marking the passage
  • As you read, highlight the main ideas with one colour, major details with another colour and important vocabulary with a third colour.
3. Keeping a word journal
  • A good way to study, review and remember new words and idioms is to keep a Word Journal. Use it to record words that are important for you to remember.
  • Spend 10 - 20 minutes each day on this. ( hardest part ever -.- )

                                                                                              Source: Mastering MUET Sixth Edition